Affirming Motherhood

In a conversation recently with a precious mumma I’m journeying with, she expressed her sadness at the declining birth rate in her home country South Korea. Although the government has recognised the implications, in her opinion their efforts were superficial and not truly addressing the nature of the decline. In fact on further research, I found the global trending birth rate has been downward for many years.

This trend together with the growing acceptance globally of abortion to birth, cannot be a coincidence. However, we know that other factors like the ‘workism’ culture, lack of housing, conforming to social and financial pressures on families are also contributing factors.

Here in Australia, our birth rate has hit an all-time low. The future social impact of this trend is alarming and has been identified. This is definitely not only about providing more child care locations or even just a baby bonus. Amongst the endless ideas that might help women who want to be mothers, there seems to be one very big gap that is simple to address right now. It begins with our language – what we say and how we say it.

It saddens me that so many new mums in my village have told me that when visiting the GP believing they are pregnant, the first thing they are asked is ‘Do you want to keep the pregnancy?’ This is not ‘affirming motherhood’ language. No longer a ‘congratulations’ as it used to be. Even if a pregnant woman had not considered a termination, the seed thought has now been sown. For the doubtful, disabled or discouraged woman, these seeds are powerful. Instead of affirmation they get negation and instead of hope they can feel unworthy and ignoble. Instead of supportive and informative encouragement, they can get a quick redirect to the ‘exit pregnancy’ medical intervention service.

In social surrounds, we can be guilty too, of making motherhood a lessor activity than paid work. When asked ‘what do you do?’ in such circumstances, my answer became, ‘I work really hard at the most important job in the world for free, I’m a mum.’ That should be celebrated and affirmed with all the voice and gusto we have. Cheering on a woman in the early season of pregnancy and motherhood has a profound impact personally and then the repercussions throughout the community are beautiful.

Making the communities we live in safe and encouraging spaces where mothers and their babies are celebrated and supported is vital. In his poem of 1865, William Wallace wrote ‘The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world’. Still true and worth a read! When women feel empowered to be ‘mothers’, when they know their efforts are valued and celebrated, families thrive and remarkable things happen.

We must be the ‘village’ for the women in our lives, especially the pregnant and those with little babies. Applauding them, reminding them of the enormous impact they have and how their endless capacity to love is world changing. It’s one of the hardest jobs in the world, it can feel a challenge to balance a career and children, it is tiring and sometimes, yes, it’s thankless. Not all women have mothers and family in their circle for help and care. We can be there to empower them and help them thrive.

Recognising the privilege and power of motherhood can go a long way to helping women facing unplanned pregnancy. Empathy and respect, with positive affirmation means there is true space for real choice when facing motherhood.