Light a Candle in the Darkness
Findings in a report in 2022 by Organon show that approximately 40% of pregnancies in Australia are unplanned. Almost 200,000 unplanned occurrences in 2020 statistics. Approximately 50% of those will decide to terminate their baby. 1 in 3 women will have an unplanned pregnancy.
When someone shares their ‘unexpected’ pregnancy with you, your friendship and support could make the difference in their decision making. We all know the destructive power of judgment on a person’s life. In the fear and doubt of the moment, a pregnant woman/couple will benefit most from a listening ear and safe place to explore options. Opinionated responses may only make the abortion option even more likely. Our personal bias, be it Biblical, can become a barrier to truly supporting a women in this time. An unplanned pregnancy can be a paralysing experience and just knowing there is a supportive friend with open arms, could make a woman feel that she has the support she needs to parent or even consider adoption.
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. Proverbs 17:17
Lack of support and information is a strong decision maker. When we don’t feel supported, it drains our sense of ability and capacity to journey the difficult unplanned things in life. It can sap our courage and leave us feeling like there is no hope. Being a positive encouraging person who affirms all the goodness in a friends’ difficult experience will be like a candle in a dark room. Where there is light we can all get better perspective and feel more empowered to choose wisely.
Another way to support is to be a partner with your friend in diligently exploring the information around support services available and what abortion actually looks like. So many decisions are made without full disclosure of all the possible impacts on health and wellbeing. Many women don’t know about the incredible practical and emotional support for pregnant and new mums in their community. The best decisions are made and owned when the heuristic process is allowed. A real friend will understand that this process is loaded with grace and wisdom. If allowed without pressure it can result in the best outcomes.
For many, the apparent urgency of the decision can way heavy too, and acting quickly may not lead to the best solution. Your positive encouragement can help change the narrative around a woman’s unplanned pregnancy. In a troubling time for your friend, you can be the calm and supportive companion they need.
Too often we use the throw-away line ‘let me know if you need anything’ believing this offers support. Honestly, very few of us would ever let someone know we need support. Such an offer is more likely to do the opposite. It can leave a person feeling alone in their time of need. Perhaps we don’t know how to support. In this case, we can suggest helpful services and offer to accompany them. Pregnancy Help Centres all around Australia are set up for this purpose. They offer confidential, anonymous caring crisis counselling and so much more.
The statistics on abortion in Australia include many women in our Churches and for them, unfortunately, the sense of judgement can feel even worse, whether perceived or real. Our mandate from Jesus is to always offer grace and compassion in all circumstances, but as the ‘Church’ in general we have yet to be fully known in our communities for this. We still have work to do.
Being a candle in the darkness for women and men with an unplanned or crisis pregnancy is real love – the God kind.